if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
Less talking, more tequila
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
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