Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
I could make wine with my vomit
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
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