Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
Woke up next to a tiki torch spooning a plastic flamingo on a welcome mat i've never seen before with a "happy valentines day" balloon tied to my wrist, oh yeah and "i am a cougar" is written on my chest in sharpee and all the kitchen furniture is upside down...
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
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