it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
Randomize
