I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
you told grandpa to call you daddy
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize