I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
Why are your pants in the freezer?
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
