I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
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