**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
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