I molested 6 butterflies tonight
I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
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