I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
Randomize