i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
Just wrote the directions to get to the girls house im hooking up with on the back of my marriage certificate. Officially worst husband ever.
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
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