their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
