You don't have asthma, your pregnant
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize