I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
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