You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
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