Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
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