I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
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