Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
