well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
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She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
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I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
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