Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
No stitches, just platelets and will power
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
then he tried to convert me to islam
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
Two words: blizzard sex
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
Randomize
