The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
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