I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
