pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
he told me I talked like a deaf person
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
