Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
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