apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
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Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
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My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
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