I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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