We should be called the Road Head Warriors
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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