the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
Randomize
