just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize
