My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
Who died my cat blue again?
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
Randomize
