She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
Randomize