In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
