i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
Life is so much better after having sex.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
Randomize
