Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
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I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
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