idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
Randomize
