i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
Randomize
