Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
Mass text: dear whatever jerk off who thinks they stole drugs from me. It was birth control. Go fuck yourself. And pray that I don't get pregnant.
Who puts their birth control in a bottle with a smiley face?!
Oh fuck wait
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
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