Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
I have feelings that need drinking.
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
Randomize
