I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
Randomize
