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I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
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