i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
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We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
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I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
I DEMAND FORESKIN
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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