So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
zippers are such a cool invention
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
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