He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
Randomize
