Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
Jesus knows you're telling a lie.
Jesus stopped reading my text messages when I started drunk texting boys to hookup
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
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