ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
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