he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
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