we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
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I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
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i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
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