This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
