Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
