exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
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