i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Randomize
