We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
Randomize
