i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
I would ride that face into the sunset
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
