So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
