Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
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