I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
Everyone is drunk but me. Fantastic. Everyone is hooking up but me. Awkward.
I had a pitcher of margaritas. Now I'm in a laundry room being a 5th wheel and crying. I made myself a bed out of a pool floatie. I win.
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
Randomize
