the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
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