we have officially lost it.
So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
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