The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
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